So after many years of battling a binge drinking problem, I’ve come to the conclusion that if I don’t get sober I’m going to die. Today is day 1, and I feel okay but I haven’t been in a situation that may trigger or tempt me. I have made so many mistakes due to my alcohol consumption, lost friends, told bitches off, treated loved ones poorly, said things I’m not proud of, lost business associates, and embarrassed myself to a level that I don’t recognize myself. I feel a burden to my past obstacles, and it makes me want to drink. I think that’s part of the vicious cycle. I have been to several aa meetings and never shared so I feel like I’m serious this time. Anyway, thank y’all for reading this and wish me luck!
外围体育投注Today marks 3 months since my last drink. I went to a bachelor party this weekend and was able to stay away from the booze the whole time despite literally having a beer in my hand on the golf course (told my friend I had to go pee and poured it out in a bush). My wife is the only person who knows this part about me but she doesn’t understand the daily struggle and how proud I am of my self for turning down drinks all weekend. Just on here to share this with people who understand and can appreciate how proud I am of myself!
Alcohol has such a powerful spirit some people even call it SPIRITS. When you take it in, it takes you over. That sense of peace you have is not your own sense of peace, but what the spirit of alcohol makes you believe is serenity. Alcohol is a dangerous liar of a spirit. It blunts your connection to the rest of the Capital T truth beyond words, the rest of literal everything. It's like a shell that surrounds your spirit, holding it captive.
外围体育投注Lay off the drink. The drink does not under any conceivable circumstances want what's best for you.
外围体育投注Background first. I am a married father of 3 and have drank heavily for the last 12 or so years. 5 years ago I took a job with a swing shift ( half of the month I’m on nights) and it only got worse. In the last 3 years I have been getting so drunk every night that I’m home, that I pass out on the couch instead of sleeping in bed with my wife. This has been hard on her because she can’t wake me and she wants me sleeping next to her. So anyway the last 3 months or so I have been declining badly, blacking out 3-4 nights a week when I wasn’t on night shift, waking up in weird places like the bathroom floor and the basement. So that’s the background.
外围体育投注That brings us to Friday. Friday I was messing around on my wife’s computer While she was at work. She has an Apple computer thats synced to her phone. I stumbled across a video she had made of me during a blackout 2 days before and I watched it. I was appalled. I had no idea how I was when blacked out and I was disgusted with myself.
So then I started snooping around on the rest of her computer and found her internet search history from the same night she made the video. There was a bunch of porn that she had watched after I passed out on the couch. Now, I knew she watch’s porn and I’m fine with it and she knows this. The problem came when I found amongst the video link a couple links to a camgirl/camguy site. The kind where you can chat and pay money to see the person naked and such. You know the ones.
When I saw those links I immediately assumed that since I had been so distant for so long, that she had turned to these guys for a connection and I Tammy. Don’t get me wrong, we still have sex 3-4 times a week but it’s always rushed and always during the day with kids in the house. So yeah, not too exciting for her.
Anyway, I went to work that night and I was a mess, couldn’t concentrate on my job, didn’t eat.... I figured I should get some answers so Saturday morning I confronted her and she said she had no idea about the cam site and it must have been a pop up window that came up while she was watching porn. Nothing to worry about.
As the title says I’m 23 years old. I currently have been working for a skilled nursing facility for a little over 3 years now. I started off as a kitchen aide (delivering food trays to units) then they asked me to be a receptionist. I did that then eventually became full time and started doing Human Resources as well as staffing the facility for nurses/cnas, where I was making all the schedules. Then I went back to just being a receptionist. So my current position is now receptionist/ transportation scheduler. I work 9-5 mon-fri. I drink almost every day about a 6 pack of craft IPAs or a 6 pack of white claws. I smoke weed consistently to make me less anxious cause is struggle with high anxiety and depression. I recently was finally able to get my own apartment at the beginning of this year. I pay my own rent and I even ended up getting a puppy in May. The health benefits with my company are so fucked. I have a select few mental health care options. I feel I am addicted. I drink lots of caffeine throughout the day and drink almost every other night. I just want to know if anyone out there can relate. I feel very stuck
外围体育投注I usually like to have 2-3 beers a night but don’t get drunk or really buzzed. I just truly enjoy the taste, comraderie, and relaxation that comes with having a couple after a long days work. I believe I could go an extended time period without it but it’s just one of those things in life I enjoy. Am I an alcoholic?