Why when I was younger and my father would scream at me for something I would just stare blankly at him or face the floor, no crying no nothing
But now that I'm older (18) and I have be living away from him and only seeing him on holidays and vacations, the problem is that now when he screams at me or at my brother I just start crying (like bawling my eyes out) out of nowhere and I don't understand why I just can't be quiet and hold still anymore and not cry like I used to before
I am in school and notice that I do a lot of self-sabotaging behaviors like procrastinating and not fully taking in what I'm learning. Plus I make things super hard for myself by always choosing hard projects and setting myself up to fail. I could spend all day on something and not learn anything/get anywhere.
外围体育投注When I was in undergrad I did the same thing, but that I think was because I secretly didn't want to be a nurse, which is what I was studying for. Now I am in a different program which I KNOW will be good for me, yet I am not sure why I am doing this. I think it is either because there IS a part of me that isn't 100% on board with this career, but I also think maybe I am afraid of success? I remember the one time in my life I had a leadership position, I was viciously taken down by my subordinates over it (this was in high school). I also was in leadership positions at a camp I worked at, and would get walked over, and ultimately wasn't hired back the following year. I feel like I may equate success to getting attacked.
外围体育投注Is this correct and if so, how do I overcome this?
外围体育投注Everytime recently I've been noticing me becoming depressed after hanging out with my friends, I enjoy my time with them and have fun but when I get home I feel so down. I don't believe that it's because I'm no longer with them or it's because I'm home and home triggers my sadness, I just want to know if this is common/normal.
I forget what I’m taking about mid sentence, which makes any social situation awful. I can’t verbally debate because I lose my point and they think they “win” the discussion/argument because I can’t finish my point.
Yesterday I got super emotional about it because I was just trying to talk to my husband and I couldn’t keep my mind straight. I have to ask, “what we’re we just saying?” He thinks I’m just forgetful or not listening. I forget what others are talking about mid sentence too. If someone interjects into a conversation I forgot what the conversation was about. A lot of the time I’ll remember but it’s too late and everyone had already moved on.
I’m on several medications and go to an outpatient hospitalization program and even during those groups I’d forget stuff. I’d want to respond to someone to give five positive feedback, validation or advice, then lose myself and sound like an idiot and end up being unhelpful and awkward.
外围体育投注I can’t stand this. I cried a lot about this yesterday. When it happens I get deeply sad but also angry more than anything. Why can’t I just talk, receive and relay words?
I wasn’t always this way. It’s within the last 5 years that this started happening. I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2, GAD, MDD, PTSD, etc. I also have fibromyalgia and I know that can cause brain fog.
Am I doomed to suffer with this?